I wanted her back. I was so unhappy and everything made me think of her. Anytime Coldplay came on or it rained or I saw someone wearing a bright yellow T-shirt. They always reminded me of her. Damian Marley was right after all; how love truly was life changing and I was a changed man. Arinze tried all he could but I still couldn’t come to terms with the fact that the love of my life was no more. It hurt like a bitch but I didn’t expect otherwise.
15th November, 2013 – 8:46am
I could barely pay attention to the service going on. I wished, prayed and begged over and over again that all this wasn’t real, that it was all just some horrible nightmare that I would snap out of; that I wasn’t at the funeral service of my one and only. The pastor called me up to give my eulogy, I fumbled a bit. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her but this was the only chance I would get. I stepped up to the podium and began “’Lara was my everything, is my everything and will always be my everything…” My voice caught and I paused trying to recompose myself. “I apologize it’s all still very fresh for me. It happened less than six months before our wedding.” My mind was blank; I had forgotten my well planned out eulogy. I turned to look at the open casket where she lay peaceful and I walked over to it. She looked so at peace. The mortician and her friends did well to make her accident wounds invisible and she looked pale from the makeup but beautiful all the same. I looked at her face, it was a tight drawn out smile that must have been difficult to achieve. I kept expecting her to open eyes and do something spontaneous, anything at all. I wanted to see that smile that had made my heart melt the first time I saw her. The one that made me want to see it one last time; each and every time she smiled my heart would skip a beat and my mind would say to me “one last time” and I wanted to be the reason for that smile. I turned back to the podium and began “The day I met ‘Lara was the best day of my life. I knew there and then that she was going to be special to me. She had a special glow which she radiated. She illuminated my life and was my world. I fell in love with her in the most ‘Lara – like way ever; so spontaneous, so unexpected and yet so sincere.” I heard the droplets of rain outside and I smiled inwardly and remembered my promise to her. Even the weather agreed with her. “I miss her and she will always be a part of me.” I walked down from the podium and out of the hall. The rain had just begun but it was threatening to be a storm and I walked right under it. Head raised, arms stretched, tears streaming down my face I felt her with me. Her very presence made me want to talk to her . In slow hushed tones, I spoke to my rain. “I miss you and there is nothing in this world that would change that. My missing you is like an eternal longing for something precious I had that was cruelly snatched away from me. The beautiful way you smiled at me that kept me longing for the next time you would smile. The way you played in the rain, sang in the shower and danced to Train. I loved your everything, love your everything.” It felt like Drops of Jupiter by Train. Music had become my emotion too just like her. I held the air the same way I held her when I proposed, it felt surreal that moment. I imagined her smiling and as my mind promptly cried “one more time” I knew that forgetting her was impossible and I declared with everything in me “I will never forget you, my Omolara”.
She loved the color yellow. I never really understood why although she explained it to me but still why yellow? She knew I wouldn’t get it so she didn’t push and I didn’t bother her. Yellow fit her personality – so bright, so unabashed and quite unstoppable. Her favorite song of all time was Yellow by Coldplay which didn’t surprise me at all, the song fit her perfectly. Her personality was always aglow.
15th August, 2013 – 8:46am
We both had the day off and she was feeling too lazy to cook so we decided to go out for an early morning walk and breakfast. She looked so good in her yellow minion top and black shorts, ever aglow. People were rushing to their various places of work while we walked down the street arm in arm without any care in the world. She began humming a song and I sighed. She looked at me “what?” she asked, “which song is that?” I asked, “Yellow by Coldplay” she replied and I gave her a knowing smile. She hit my arm and said “Lemme guess you knew it was going to be Coldplay”, I smiled again and told her “Yes, I did. I just don’t get your fascination with Coldplay. I mean, I know they’re good but are they really all that?”. She gasped and then replied “Oh my God don’t you dare hate on Chris Martin and my boys. You don’t hear me bad mouthing Damian Marley and your reggae obsession. Coldplay makes good music, music that makes my soul feel elevated and I like that okay?”, “Sure sure whatever” I teased. She smiled at me and pecked me on the lips saying “You’re just so stubborn and set in your ways aren’t you?”, “Yes, yes I am” I replied with a big smile. “That’s why I love you and your stubbornness” She said it with so much sincerity and dedication. My heart burst open with love and I just had to let her know how much she meant to me right there in the middle of the street with all the hustle and bustle of the world.
“I love you. I am so in love with you. You are such a special person and I bless the day the stars collided and connived to make us meet because if you hadn’t come into my life I would have been as lost as I am now found; to let you know how lost I was. You don’t make me want to be a better person, you make me a better person. You enhance me, you gloss me up, you make me shine and you perfect me. If the skies fall and the earth gets sucked up and I’m left to reevaluate everything about my life, I would never change anything about our love. With imperfections, you made our love flawless. I bless the day you walked into my life.” and then I kissed her and she kissed me back. She took out her iPod, put the ear phones into my ears and then I heard Chris Martin sing the beginning of yellow. She smiled and began to walk ahead of me, her back turned to where she was going and her eyes fixated on me when she mouthed the words “I Love You”. Chris Martin was right, the sun really shone for her. She was at an intersection and still facing me and smiling at me knowingly like she knew there and then I understood the song and her love for Coldplay. All of a sudden and all at once I heard a car rev up and with unfathomable speed run into her, I saw her body soar in the air and she hit the floor all too instantly. I stood there shocked, I saw her yellow glow get drained out by the red color of her blood all over the road. Her yellow shine was now red, red and ugly. I ran to her screaming her name and holding her in my arms begging for someone to call an ambulance, I saw her ever alive eyes dim and the yellow bits no longer looked yellow. She sputtered blood out of her mouth, looked at my scared eyes and whispered “I Love You” before her eyes closed for the very last time. Even in death, she smelled like coming home.
Her love for rain was completely unparalleled. Her favorite pastime was singing and dancing in the rain whenever it rained and she had a chance to. People would run away and seek shelter but she’ll stand there smiling maniacally and singing whatever song comes to her mind first. She was a rare form of artwork.
15th August, 2012 – 8:46am
It was a lazy Saturday. We were both at home and there was nothing to do. We cuddled on the couch and continuously flipped through the channels finally settling to watch Myth busters. There was nothing else to do so we just laid there together entwined with each other when all of a sudden the pitter-patter of rain began. She instantly turned to face me and I could see a sparkle in her eyes, the way she lit up was like magic and I was confused. “I want to dance in the rain” she said, “Okay, have fun” I replied. She gave her heartiest laugh and pulled me with her to the door, all my pleas and begging were for naught because she was hell bent on doing it. Seeing how my pleas were not helping I gave in and let her pull me out the door to the pouring rain. She let go of my hand and started screaming and dancing under the rain like a child that had never experienced rain before. I didn’t care that I was getting soaked, I stopped noticing after a while because I was fixated on her. Hands raised, face lifted and body spinning under the pouring she screamed like a child. She opened up a whole different realm for me, watching her and her antics never got old. It felt renewed each time. I stood there drinking in the reverie of her natural magnificence. She was so dynamic, so unpredictable and she never stopped. I was in love with her and I knew there and then there wasn’t anyone else I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I walked towards her with resolve and surety and pulled her by the waist until our bodies were touching and my eyes were locked on hers, she was startled by my actions.
“Marry me. Marry me and make me the the happiest person on earth till I die. Marry me and make me whole. Marry me so there would never be a dull day in my life ever. Marry me and I promise to dance in the rain with you each and every time. Marry me and be mine Omolara”
The spontaneity of it all was new to me. Her spontaneous self had become a part of me and I liked it. I stood there with her in my arms looking at those beautiful eyes and then she said “Yes Dave, Yes!”
The way she loved music was so unbelievable. To her music was the perfect storage for moments and memories, that was why she was completely in love with movie scores. It was such a delight watching her soak up whatever tune it was she was listening to. Eyes closed, head moving from side to side, her lips singing along and that hint of a smile on her face. Music was her emotion and she expressed it perfectly.
15th of August, 2011 – 8:46am
I was running late for work and my legs were killing me. My thigh muscles kept pulling and I kept dreading Lara’s constant morning jogs. When we started dating I realized the secret to her well toned figure 8 body was daily morning jogs or speed walking, and this week she finally convinced me to join her. A decision that although my legs are killing me for, my heart was very glad I consented. She always took her iPod with her whenever she jogged to obviously listen to music; so I copied her and took mine although I didn’t pay any attention to the reggae song banging in my ear. You should see her listen to music and jog; it was like she came alive. She was so happy and so rested even in the obvious physical distress, no form of workout could ever make her less appealing to me. Obviously she was a little ahead of me considering jogging had never been one of my favorite pastime, this gave me the ability to observe her. Her jogging was quite like her walk, so elegant and those hips swayed like magic. There was a constant nod of her head in tune with the rhythm of whatever jam she was listening to and I smiled, just because. It was almost 7:30 and it was that time of the year where the sun rose late and slept early, so the sun just began its ascend and I was starting to feel the heat. I was getting really tired so I fell out of the pace with her and was lagging but not far behind. I think she noticed and turned around, she saw my heaving chests and my sharp breaths and she gave a full smile. That was the moment the sun came out of the horizon completely, I looked into her eyes and saw those yellow specks within the brown. She was cast in the most quintessential halo of all time and I knew nothing would beat this moment, ever.
It was all about the way she walked.
Hips swaying so delicately yet so decidedly, her head held high daring anyone to cross her path, arms moving slightly, her feet taking such definitive steps. Her body had a rhythm of its own, so unpredictable. I was undeniably drawn to her.
15th of August, 2010 – 8:46pm
It was one of those days where you couldn’t wait for it to be over because it was just so horrible. I was leaving the club after a bottle of beer that did my sour mood no justice when my friend Arinze called to find out if I was up for a wild night with him considering it was a Friday. I was just about to decline when I felt something pass by me, it felt like air – no wind because I could tell it was there. So delicate, graceful and airy yet so profound. I looked up and my eyes followed the direction of the “wind”, and that was when I saw her walk. It was elegance in a well toned figure 8 body, the perfect definition of it. She wore a long cream gown that had an undefined pattern of several colors. The dress wasn’t loose enough to seem overwhelming yet it wasn’t fitted enough to seem slutty, it just hung on her body in the most flawless way possible and she made the dress work for her. I gasped, I was left breathless by her walk. How often does that happen to anyone ever? It was enchanting and I was enchanted. While she walked away I saw something drop from her half zipped bag and ran to pick it up, she didn’t notice her purse dropped and I caught up with her. I tapped her lightly on the shoulder and when she turned, oh my God to think I was left breathless by her walk. It felt like all the air rushed right out of my lungs and I couldn’t even be bothered to fill them back up. She was beautiful in every way possible with cheeks that weren’t too chubby, cheekbones that weren’t too pointy and her brown eyes with tiny specks of yellow in them. She saw her purse and then gave the lightest gasp and giggled.
That was the first time I ever saw her smile, my heart melted.
I realized its been over a year since I created this blog but less than six months since I had my first post. I’m not usually one to fancy writing about myself but I guess I have to try. New month, new me. Lol. Anyway, you should already know the types of stories or poetry I’m into and no, I promise I am not depressed. Although, I am going through some really major life changes that prove to be quite challenging but I am as happy and content as can be with life.
I came up with a really good idea for a story but it ended up being too long on paper and I hate long blog posts, so I decided to turn it into a series or something like that. My very first series ever! Kind of excited. Its in five parts so I shall post one everyday with the final post on Friday. I hope its good and you guys enjoy it. I shall begin to post random thoughts like this from time to time, for the fun of it.
Have a wonderful week.