LOVE OF A KIND

Because you loved; and you lost
Yet you will love again
But this time
You will love yourself first

This was the type of love that upended trees whose roots had seen centuries come and go. That blew away mountains like specks of dust.
This was the love that taught you to love: yourself first before any other.
This was the love that taught you how to heal, long before it broke you.

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LOVE OF A KIND

Reaper

This is how death comes
In the middle of the day
He won’t sneak in
Nor bid his time
He’ll sit on your couch with you
Finish your jokes for you
Might even offer to be the brunt of it
He’ll steal your heart
And you’ll let him
He’ll sleep on your bed
And you’ll allow him
He’ll whisper into your ears
And you’ll listen
Not because you want him
Not because you love him
Not because you need him
But because
He’s that alluring
Mystified charisma
He’ll kiss you and take your breath
Counting down the seconds
For you
One by one
Till the life isn’t in you anymore
He’ll hug you while you die
He might even cry for you
Kiss you on the forehead
And when you fall to the ground
White faced and breathless
He’ll turn away from you
Smiling away with his dagger
On his way to make a new acquaintance
Death won’t steal you
He’ll entice you
Until you can’t resist him further

Reaper

The hurt you seek

You scream freedom for the fifth time this month

How many more before the month runs out?

You dream only of the love you will never attain

You go back on your word and promises to yourself

You only know how to love her, that girl

The one with the questions in her eyes

And the quiver in her voice

You know nothing else

Neither redemption nor salvation

Because somehow loving her is all you learnt to know

Loving her is all you wish to know

But you lie to yourself hurt after hurt that its over

But we know better

We’re all waiting for this storm to subside before you begin another.

The hurt you seek

Of beautiful things

You tell yourself you’re unbreakable, unemotional

You give yourself reasons not to pay attention to emotions

You like being called cold hearted

You build a haphazard wall of sarcasm and cynicism

You never let people know how you truly feel

It begins with a text; hey

You begin to talk

At first it’s careless banter

He’s funny, witty. Charming even

You laugh, you guard yourself. Never going to happen you say

But then it does happen.

Your random chain of thoughts somehow goes back to what he said

You catch yourself smiling sometimes

It pisses you off but then it doesn’t

You like it but you hate it

Then you look forward to the conversations

Those long unending ones that go on for days with an undefined pattern

You sigh, you cuss, dammit.

It’s happened.

Somehow those walls begin to falter and chip off

You’re no longer as guarded; you’re vulnerable

You feel free but then you’re scared

You like him and it’s not sarcastic or ephemeral; it’s the real deal

But you don’t know how to express it

You try but then you fail

And then you’re sad

Because you fear he might like you; love you even

But he might never understand you.

You promise yourself to try, he’s worth it?

You smile at his words, you fancy his voice with that south-eastern twang

He’s funny, cheerful, caring. He’s a lot of good things

A gentleman.

You find him beautiful and it sucks

But you like it and then you hate it

Deep down you know it but you refuse to admit it

That you’ve found it, found him

Your very own beautiful creation.

Of beautiful things